CLICK HERE FOR FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES, LINK BUTTONS AND MORE! »

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Thought Provoking Question

The other night at church, someone asked Mark and I a question that I have not been able to get out of my mind.  We were complemented on what a beautiful family we have and how wonderful our children are - to which I am always humbled.  Then, it came.  Out of nowhere.  "If you could go back and change something or do more of something in your parenting, what would it be?"
I realize that they were asking because they have younger children who they are still raising and were looking for advice.  But my mind has not been able to let it go.  I didn't have much time to answer before service started but as I thought of how to answer such a question, the stark reality that hit me was:

NOTHING.

I would change nothing.

Is that what you were expecting?  I wracked my brain for something that I would love to do differently, but when it came down to it, all that I could think was NOTHING. 

Does that mean that I think we did everything perfectly or that our children are perfect just as they are?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Hind sight is 20/20 as they say, and that includes the good and the bad.  However, in thinking of the big picture, here are some of the things that came to my mind:

I wouldn't want more "things" at the sacrifice of time with my children. 
I will take all of the sleepless nights, sickness and inconsolable crying, messes, spills, and tantrums that sometimes seemed endless.  They were usually overcome by hugs, laughter, tickles and sweet words that made it all better. 
I wouldn't go back and think that any book knew my children better than I did - I would still trust my instincts and pray. 
I wouldn't spend any less time swinging for hours in the back yard singing silly Sunday School songs, chasing each other, eating cookies, playing in the pool, or any of the other things that don't mean much in a corporate and carnal world. 

Mark and I decided that having time with our children was more important to us than being able to have everything we wanted.  We made some hard choices to be there, always available for each other and our children - even when that wasn't easy. 
We made time for them when they were little and never pushed them aside. 
We chose to take the time to stop and smell the roses, and maybe even talk about them. 
We chose to pray with them - daily. 
We chose to make the hard choices that they didn't always like, but now understand a little better. 
We chose what many call the hard path and in some ways it was.  Life was far from perfect while they were little (it still isn't close!) - mistakes were made, things said and done that could have been said and done differently, we surely didn't have all the answers or always know what to do - but in the big picture, we are truly content with who we were and who we are now.  We are still a work in progress, but God has been so good to us and enabled us to walk a path that He has set before us.  For that, I am forever thankful. 
I love the relationship that we all have that causes our teenagers to love being with their parents and siblings more than being with anyone else.  I truly believe that when we are available to and for them when they are little, we will reap the joy of having them want to be a part of our lives when they are older. 
I tend to think that that is what God had in mind for families. 
I tend to think that it is the way it should be to reap the relationship every parent craves with their children!

2 comments:

Unknown

On the branches of a beautiful tree, you will find beautiful fruit...:-)

Tammy

Tasha, you are so sweet. Thank you for your comment - it completely made my day!